A few days ago, I was pouring myself a cup of water without really paying attention and when I finally looked, I realized the cup was overflowing, spilling everywhere. I was staring at the mess I made when it dawned on me - that’s exactly how I’d been feeling a few days earlier. I was emotionally overflowing too. I had been running on autopilot telling myself ‘if I ignore this long enough, it’ll disappear, you’re a big girl you can take it’. Boy, was I wrong! My emotions were right there, staring back at me, waiting for me to finally look them in the face and tend to them. 

I like to think of myself as a feeler—wearing my emotions like an accessory. However, for the longest time, I thought being emotional meant being weak. I figured strength was about putting on a poker face and never letting anyone see you sweat, and I hated that I wasn’t that person. Turns out, I was way off. Real strength isn’t about pretending you’re unbreakable. It’s about being real with yourself and owning those messy, complicated feelings. I mean, think about it, how can you take out the trash if you pretend it’s not there?

If you can relate, maybe it’s time to hit pause and show yourself a little love. As usual, I’ll be sharing some tips that have been very helpful to me, let’s clean up this mess together.

 Steps to Emotional Healing

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step to finding a solution is admitting there is a problem. How can you treat a wound if you keep it covered. When I reached my limit, I had to take a big pause and tell myself, “Wonu, you’re all over the place, girl— get it together”. Don’t wait until you’re completely drained; as soon as you start feeling off, give yourself permission to face it."

2. Write it down, Make it plain

Before you pick up the phone and get into a long rant with your friend, take a moment to write down how you truly feel. Think of it like texting yourself, but this time, be completely vulnerable. If you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you open up to others? Pour it all out, even the thoughts you’re hesitant to say out loud.

I recently started journaling, and it’s been a game changer. It feels like writing a letter from me to me —one where I can tell myself all the things I need to hear. It’s a safe space where I can express emotions that may be too hard to voice, and there’s something incredibly freeing about that. More importantly, I’m learning that journaling isn’t just about venting; it’s about understanding.

3. Meditate

Always meditate on truth.  I’m just now realizing that contrary to what many believe, our feelings aren’t always the most reliable. While we’re allowed to feel whatever we feel, emotions don’t always align with reality. Think about it—sometimes, when things are realigning and making a shift, your feelings might start to convince you that everything is falling apart or that you’ve reached the end. But is that really true? I once watched an interview where the guest said’ “if you can worry, you can meditate” and that phrase stuck with me ever since. So, every time I catch myself drowning in my emotions, I’m reminded to fix my thoughts on what is pure, lovely and admirable. It’s a conscious choice to fix my mind on things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

4.  Talk to someone.

Human connection is important, and the need for it cannot be overstated. Life wasn’t designed for us to be alone. When things get too overwhelming, reach out to friends or family members who genuinely care about you. Surround yourself with people who will uplift you—not just with comforting words, but with truth spoken in love. I have a great support system, who not only say what sounds good but speak the truth from a place of deep love and understanding.  That’s the power of meaningful relationships—having people who will walk through the difficult moments with you and remind you of who you truly are. Find strength in their words and wisdom, and remember, you don’t have to carry the weight alone. Think of it like moving a heavy sofa—you can struggle all day trying to drag it yourself, or you can call up those friends who'll not only help lift it but also tell you if you're trying to shove it through the wrong doorway.

6. Rest

After you’ve done all you can, take a moment to find peace. Trust that, just like every other challenge you’ve faced, this too will pass. I know it might feel like it’s going to last forever, but I’m here to remind you that it won’t. Life has a way of shaking things up, of ruffling your feathers, but rest in the knowledge that nothing can keep you down unless you allow it. Rest is not giving up; it’s gathering strength to move forward when the time is right.  This is not the end it’s just a bend. 

 

Body dysmorphia- a term I learnt in my early 20’s because for as long as I could remember, I constantly obsessed over my body and how much I hated it. For some of you who may not know what body dysmorphia means, it is a mental health condition where individuals become obsessively concerned with perceived flaws in their appearance. Research shows that about one of every 100 people has Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). Men and women are equally affected. It’s when you obsess over tiny flaws that no one else notices. It can feel like a constant battle against a funhouse mirror, where every reflection seems distorted and exaggerated.

You might ask how I learnt about body dysmorphia, well, being a top-heavy babe with not enough "junk in the trunk," to back it up, I felt like I didn’t fit society’s image of the "ideal" body.  I started to compare myself to every girl. I dreaded mirrors or anything that reflected my appearance. I sought validation from anyone who would give it and avoided social events because I just didn’t fit the script (so I thought). Basically, I was running away from myself (sounds wild, I know). 

As someone naturally curious, I eventually looked up all these "symptoms" (a word of advice: never Google your symptoms), and I got diagnosed with body dysmorphia - at least, that’s what science and the internet called it. However, now I see it as one of the ways our minds trick us into being less of who we are.

As you already know, this blog is dedicated to helping you be your best selves and in this post, I will be sharing some helpful tips on getting through and falling in love with you.

Steps to Overcoming Body Dysmorphia

Practice Self-Compassion ✨

As someone who used to avoid mirrors, I eventually realized that I couldn’t run away from myself—how silly of me to even try! Start your day with a sprinkle of kindness. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. It could be, "I love my smile," or "I rock these jeans!" It might feel silly at first, but trust me, it works wonders. Take time with your body routines. Yes! Stop rushing through your routines. Take time and rub in that lotion, bask in the entirety of your body. Romanticize your body by enjoying each moment of self-care. Think of it as a love letter to yourself, savoring each touch and appreciating every curve.

Seeking Help from a Therapist

Research says therapy is one way to conquer BDD and I quite agree. Sometimes, we need professional help, and I will always be an advocate for prioritizing mental health.  See a therapist if you can afford one, especially one skilled in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). They’ll help you deal with those negative thoughts and train you on how to navigate them. Several studies have found CBT to successfully reduce BDD severity. It helps individuals identify and challenge distorted thoughts about their appearance and develop healthier thinking patterns’

Digital Detox

I can’t hype up a social media detox enough! Whether you’re hitting pause on the endless scroll or unfollowing accounts that drain your vibe, it’s all about curating a feed that fuels your happiness. Whatever your detox style, make sure your timeline is packed with joy, laughter, and a solid dose of body positivity. I’m currently in the middle of a digital cleanse myself, using an app called Screen Zen. It lets me access certain apps for 15 minutes, 10 times a day. It’s been a game-changer for managing my screen time and cutting down on mindless scrolling!

 Healthy Lifestyle Choices

If you've been following my social media, you'll know that I'm the new poster girl for moving your body. Who knew that fun and health could go hand in hand? Eat balanced meals, move your body in ways that make you happy (dance party, anyone?). Exercises aren’t just for losing weight; they can be for fun and leave you feeling fabulous! Find an activity that makes your heart sing, whether it’s dancing, cooking, hiking, or yoga. Get enough rest. Moving your body is a celebration of what it can do, not just how it looks.

Build a Positivity Squad 🤗

Surround yourself with your own squad of cheerleaders. No, not the pom-pom kind (unless that’s your vibe), but those friends and family members who always lift you up. Share your journey with them, and let their love and support envelop you. My friends have been my biggest cheerleaders, and their unwavering support in encouraging me to see the beauty that blooms around and within me, has been instrumental in helping me navigate my need for validation and grow through it.

Focus on You

As I got older, I started to see that one of the main culprits behind BDD is our obsession with how others see us. This is what builds the constant need for validation. I came across a line from a book that stuck with me “like what you do when you are the only black kid in a party and a familiar song comes on”.  Love yourself in that dress you adore, even if it turns heads. Rock that bold lipstick like it’s made for you, no matter what anyone else thinks. The key is to focus on what makes YOU feel fabulous and let go of society’s opinions. So, my lovelies, strut your stuff, live for yourself, and flourish in your unique glory.

 

  Love always gets the job done. Think about it, you don’t roll out of bed every day just because your alarm is persistent—you do it because, deep down, you care about yourself enough to keep showing up. Sure, the mind can try to trick us into thinking we’re doing it out of frustration, like angrily going to the gym because of that extra slice of pizza. But let’s be real, hate doesn’t fuel progress, love does.

We are called to live a life of love, that it be deeply anchored in everything that we do. It’s okay to desire change in your body but ensure that this desire comes from a place of love. Love is what keeps you going when you don't see results.

‘Even the very hairs on your head are numbered’, if that isn't craftsmanship then I don't know what is. So never forget that every part of you was uniquely crafted to make you the masterpiece that you are. Find your source. Love that body that gets you through everything. It was uniquely made, a temple to behold.

 

 

One of the things I dreaded before completing my master’s, was diving back into the job-hunting pool, especially with the added twist of being a foreigner trying to break into a new job market. Job hunting can truly be a rollercoaster ride, where each application, interview, and that eerie silence from hiring managers takes your mind on a wave of emotions. It can feel like navigating an endless ocean with no clear direction, you just have to keep casting your net, hoping to find that one opportunity that turns into something meaningful.

I have lost track of how many times I have readjusted my resume, thinking, “This is it! There’s no way I am not getting a job with a resume like this!” The time invested in crafting a masterpiece - showcasing my skills, experiences, and even that one time I almost saved the world. Yet, I am met with a familiar silence or rejection. It feels like sending your resume into a void, hoping that somewhere, someone is reading it. The uncertainty of this process can be maddening, leaving you questioning whether your skills and years of experience are truly seen or appreciated.

If this is relatable, know that you're not alone. As someone currently navigating this path, I understand firsthand the unique challenges it presents. In this post, I will share some of the struggles I am facing, in hopes that my experiences might resonate with anyone else on a similar journey and provides some comfort and guidance.

Struggles of Job Hunting

Emotional Rollercoaster

Managing the emotional highs and lows can be one of the most significant challenges job hunting is managing. Each application submitted fills me with hope, but each rejection—or worse, no response at all—feels like a blow to my confidence. It can feel like dating, but instead of ghosting after a first date, you're ghosted by every company you've ever dreamed of working for. 

The Perfect Fit Illusion

You find a job posting that’s a dream come true. It’s like they wrote the job description with you in mind. Excitedly, you apply, thinking yet again, “This is it!” But then—crickets. Or worse, you get a polite rejection email. If I had a dollar for the number of rejections I have gotten, I wouldn’t need a job! A lot of times, I'm tempted to reply to recruiters with, “Please, just hire me. I need to eat.”  

 Networking Challenges

I’m asking again guys, if you have any tips on building connections, please share! We all can agree that one of the easiest ways to land a job or opportunities is to have the right connections and know the right people. As a person who is not a natural social butterfly, I find it hard to start up conversations with strangers and that makes networking feel anything but straightforward.

Time Management

People tend to think that with job hunting, you have all the time in the world. Oh, how blissfully wrong they are! Balancing job hunting with other responsibilities can be like trying to bake a cake while babysitting a toddler and managing a Zoom meeting—all at the same time. For someone like me who doesn’t throw out applications willy-nilly, the process demands significant time: researching companies, customizing applications, attending interviews, and following up. Juggling all these tasks can feel overwhelming and stalls the job search. Effective time management is important but challenging to master.

Financial Pressure

Can anyone point me to a scheme that provides some sort of financial support for job hunters? Why do I have to keep spending money when I don’t have enough money coming in? Is there a community where job hunters get things at discounted prices? The longer the job search, the more the financial pressure mounts, increasing the temptation of settling for positions that don't align with long-term career goals. Hang in there, do not settle for less than you deserve.

The Interview Nerves

Interviews are a critical step in the hiring process, but boy, can they be nerve-wracking! The pressure to perform well, answer questions thoughtfully, and make a dazzling first impression can feel downright overwhelming. For some of us, the anxiety is so intense that it feels like trying to stay composed while riding a rollercoaster Showcasing your true potential in a 15–30-minute call can be tough, how are you supposed to prove you’re a master chef based on just one bite of an appetizer? I want to shout, “I promise I can do the job—just give me a chance, and I’ll show you!”

 Strategies for Overcoming Job Hunting Challenges

Here are few strategies that I have researched on, and I am applying through this journey:

• ·       Emotional Resilience: Practice self-care and mindfulness techniques to maintain mental health. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide encouragement.
• ·       Application Tracking: Keep a detailed record of applications sent in an excel sheet, including dates and follow-up actions, to manage the process more effectively.
• ·       Networking Tactics: Leverage online platforms like LinkedIn, attend industry events, and participate in professional groups to expand your network.
• ·       Skill Development: Identify gaps and seek online courses, workshops, or volunteer opportunities to build necessary skills.
• ·       Time Management: Create a structured job search schedule that includes dedicated hours for various activities related to job hunting.
• ·       Financial Planning: Budget carefully and explore temporary or freelance work to ease financial pressures during the job search.

Job hunting is undoubtedly a challenging process. However, I am a firm believer that what is meant for you will not pass you by. So, friends, keep casting your nets because in due season, the right opportunity will come along and won't slip away. Remember, each "no" brings you one step closer to that perfect "yes." Keep the faith, stay persistent, and trust that your efforts will pay off.

 

 

“Waiting”— a word that can feel overwhelming and extremely frustrating. Just a few days ago, I stopped by a restaurant to grab dinner, and it felt like my order was taking forever. The food was being freshly prepared, and I was sure I’d been waiting for an eternity. But when my meal finally arrived, I checked the time and realized it had only been about 15 to 20 minutes. That’s when it hit me—life is moving exactly as it should, I just want things as soon as I desire them.

I’ll be honest waiting isn’t fun. Whether you’re in line for your morning coffee or waiting for a life-changing opportunity, it can feel like expecting rain in a drought—endless and uncertain.

Welcome to the art of living fully while you wait.

We tend to think of patience as something we have to do, but what if it’s something you could master? What if it isn’t a season just to wait but to build? What if waiting is unlocking things in us we didn’t think we possessed? 

4. Deepen Your Connections

One of the most fulfilling ways to wait for anything at all is keeping yourself busy with things that take your mind off the fact that you are waiting. For me, I’m discovering that it’s deepening connections. Connections are powerful and the right ones just keep you going. Invest in the connections that bring you to your most authentic self. 

5.  Grow, Learn, Repeat

When is a better time for self-development and building capacity if not while you wait. I’m starting to see waiting as an invitation to build capacity. I’m starting to see it as an invitation to becoming all the things I so admire. I’m starting to see it as a time to be better. I’m starting to see it as a time to transition. You just might discover that what you learn during this time opens doors you never even knew existed.

6. Be Expectant

This is one thing my best friend resounds every time –“Wonu, you have to be expectant” . Life has its way of presenting you with the things you need and the things you didn’t even know you needed. I’m also realizing that to truly receive, you should expect that it’s coming. As you wait, as you build, as you grow, expect that the red light will turn green, and it will be time for you to go. Tell yourself everyday – “Something good is going to happen today”.

 

“Staying still” - as easy as it sounds, is one of the hardest things to do in the busyness and craziness of the world. I always preach practicing mindfulness, but I didn’t realize how hard it was for me until I decided I needed to take a break from the chaos of life and shut out the noise. I expected that a good unplugging was all I needed to quiet my mind, but I just couldn’t win. For every time I thought I had put my mind to sleep, I heard it say – “Ha! tricked ya!”

My mind was used to constant stimulation and the silence; instead of being soothing, felt like a void that my thoughts rushed to fill. Every worry, every unfinished task, and every random idea seemed to meet, creating a noise louder than the external sounds I was trying to escape. It was an overwhelming experience that left me feeling more restless than before.

Yet, in this struggle, I learnt something - staying still is a state of mind and its value sometimes lies in facing the mental chaos. It's not about achieving immediate peace but about learning to sit with the discomfort, to let the mind race, and eventually find its own rhythm. This process, though difficult, taught me resilience and patience. It made me realize that the practice of staying still is a journey, not a destination—a continuous effort to embrace stillness even in the noise.

Staying still is not about physical inactivity or laziness. It's about cultivating a state of mindfulness and presence in our lives. It's about pausing, taking a breath, and allowing ourselves to fully experience the present moment. We are all so focused on what the future holds that we forget to live in the moment, we forget that the only way we can make it to tomorrow is to get through today. Not just getting by but actually living through it.

So, while it may seem contradictory, the effort to stay still in a world that never stops moving can be incredibly rewarding. It requires persistence and a willingness to confront our inner noise, but the clarity and peace that eventually come are well worth the investment.

Through this entire process, I learned something valuable from a service I attended—a method to control my mind:

•         Catch your thoughts: Become aware of your thoughts as they arise.
•               Hold them in: Take a moment to pause and reflect on these thoughts.
•              Ask questions: Is this thought pure? Is it true? Does it reflect the truth of who I am?
•         Remember, they are just thoughts: What makes your thought  powerful is the focus you give it. It's like spotting something in a crowd; it becomes the only thing you see while everything else fades into the background.

So, my lovelies, guard your mind & heart for everything you do flows from it.

 

In the world we live in today, it's easy to lose sight of the one person who physically carries you through all the craziness, opportunities and disappointments: YOURSELF. This is because we are so focused on watering our relationships, careers, goals and everything else, forgetting that we ourselves need watering. How possible is it to water from an empty tank? When I talk about prioritizing self-care, I do not just say it as a trendy concept; I say it as a fundamental practice that fuels our ability to thrive in all other areas of life. Think about it; who is going to carry you through all your goals and aspirations if you are beat up and worn out?  Lately, I have been so caught up with loving me some me and the discoveries have been nothing short of mind blowing and I am here to tell you guys that it is a very worthwhile investment.  I never want my people missing out, so I did my homework and I’ll be sharing tips on how to prioritize yourself.

The Broad Spectrum of Self-Care – Meditations to Adventures

A lot of times when we hear self-care, we immediately think all it involves are spa sessions, meditation and mindfulness (though those are fantastic!), but it is also about finding joy and excitement in things that make you feel alive. Imagine starting your day with a solo date and ending the night at a pub with a group of friends. Self-care is about balance—nurturing your soul, body, and mind in equal measure. Take charge of your mind, be intentional about yourself.

The Silence of Disconnect: The Power of a Digital Detox

Social media from time to time gets very noisy and we tend to underestimate the capacity of the that noise.  I consider disconnecting from social media as an act of radical self-care. You just have to take it by force, or you are going to get caught up in the web of addiction.  Creating spaces in your life that are free from the buzz and beep of notifications lets you to reconnect with the immediate world around you and allows you room for things that move your spirit.  It’s in these unplugged moments that you might find deeper conversations or a renewed passion. This is a very tested and trusted method.  

The Strength in Saying No

It’s okay to say no and not feel guilty about it. It's about honoring your boundaries and dedicating yourself to what truly enriches your life. It’s okay to say no to that relationship that does not serve you, that job that wants to underpay you, no to overcommitment.  Prioritize loving yourself just as much as you love everyone else around you. Say no to things that don't serve your well-being or align with your values. 

The Adventure of Saying Yes: Embracing New Experiences

Self-care can also mean opening yourself to new experiences. Enroll for that dancing class, learn how to play lawn tennis, go on that solo date, just explore! I have been on little tour of the adventures in London and I am having a blast and below are the side effects I’m currently experiencing.

*Side Effects: Deeper sense of self recognition

                         Improved mood

                         New memories

                         New exposure

                         Loads of excitement

                       New interests and skills

Tell me again why you wouldn’t want to try this? New experiences reconnect us with our sense of wonder, reminding us that we are not just existing, we are living. There are loads of cost-effective fun things to do and I will talk about that in another post. 

The Magic of Micro-Moments

Let's demolish the lie that says you must dedicate a whole day to self-care. While I would encourage that, you can also have small, intentional actions that weave a fabric of well-being into your daily life. A five-minute dance break between meetings, satisfying your cravings or a moment of gratitude before bed can significantly uplift your spirit. Take charge of your day, some days you may not be able to take charge and that’s okay, not every day will be like that. Be tender with yourself. 

Nourish to Flourish: Caring for Body and Mind

Self-care is as much about what you put into your body as what you do with it. Start a skincare routine, sign up at the gym, enjoy a diet rich in fruits and vegetables. It isn't just about physical health; it's about feeling good, having more energy, and treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve. Cut out excessive intake of things that are detrimental to your wellbeing, be conscious about everything that you take in physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s not as easy as it sounds, it’s okay to slip up but make sure to pick yourself up every time till you get it right. Remember, you are not your enemy. 

Embracing self-care is a lifelong journey that looks different for everyone. It's an ever-evolving practice that adapts to your changing needs, desires, and circumstances. You are not selfish for prioritizing yourself, you're ensuring that you're your best self for everyone around you. Prioritize yourself, treat yourself with the same compassion and care you offer to others. 

 

This post is one I have struggled to write. I have started and stopped so many times majorly because I'm currently in a phase where life’s pressure has been hitting me a little too hard, I couldn't find my wit or the energy to write from the angle where I can successfully convince you guys that I face my challenges head-on and kick them in the butt (so pardon me if this post isn't as witty as usual).  Trust me when I say nothing has been funny these past few weeks.

The mind has its way of playing tricks on you and letting you believe that you're far behind where you ought to be. Allowing your emotions to take the lead may a lot of times (if not all the time) hinder you from making any real progress.  So, I decided to reach out to a few people I know because I needed a little reassurance and some real talk. Here’s what they had to say;

•  Kobi – I pray and take each day as it comes. I believe that my response to situations stems from my mind, so whenever I feel pressured, I take a step back to analyze what I have been feeding my mind with. I do this because I know when I feed myself with the right things I am not swayed by life’s pressures or what other people have going on.
• Uju – I cry o, plenty tears. I allow myself to feel all that needs to be felt and when I’m done, I face my pressures with a mindset that knows and believes that life is in seasons and my time will definitely come. No matter the rain, sun go still shine.
• Sherry – I take life one day at a time, draw up my itinerary and go about my day. There’s only one life and it’s important to live it with a positive mindset.
• Tomi- First off, I’m a doctor. My job gives me little or no time to feel pressured from life or watching people forge ahead.  But jokes aside, I pretty much remind myself that I’m on my own path and with it comes different routes and complexities. This mindset helps me get rid of these pressures when they come, with a lot of sleep of course lol.
• Tobi – I tend to withdraw from things and people around me. I cry, if need be, have a stiff drink, take it slow and face my challenges head on.
• Molade – I realized that a lot of my pressures come from me comparing my life with someone else’s and I woke up one day and decided that I would turn my worries into gratitude. I know where I’m coming from, and I remember that I once prayed for everything I have now. I focus on myself and making the most of my life doing the things I love and things that make me happy. All of these keeps me grounded and I am reminded that everything will be perfected in its time and I’m not behind, I’m right where I need to be.
• Adeoye – Most of the time pressure is internal, we as individuals put this pressure on ourselves and in my opinion, the only way to deal with it is to not put that pressure on yourself. It usually stems from getting older and realizing you have not checked out certain goals and dreams. My advice, you have to remind yourself that your race & journey is unique, and you are on the right track (that is of course if you have been putting in the work to get all that you desire). You remind yourself how far you have come. It doesn’t matter what other people might have done at your age, you did not start out the same way as them and you certainly do not have the same story. Focus on your journey and take it one step at a time.
• Omolola - Well, to be honest I don't feel pressured about peers who seem to be moving ahead because I'm aware that we are on different journeys and our destinations are also different. I've seen and I know what the Lord has planned for me as regards my next step and moving ahead. So as against feeling pressured, I'm stewarding the promise till the Kairos moment of manifestation by following the voice of the Holy Spirit in carrying out little assignments that come up on the way diligently and being present and discerning so I don't miss my moment.
• Ayodeji - I have come to understand that the difference between me and the people that forge ahead is effort. Nobody really has it easy (even though sometimes it looks easy) but being willing to put in an extra effort - in ordinary things, on days when you are tired or feel discouraged - is a way to stay motivated. Another thing is realizing that when pressure comes and life feels overwhelming, I need to breathe, smile, and try to articulate reasons why I am overwhelmed. It’s ok to take a break, but don’t give up. It’s ok to have fluctuating energies on some days. Acknowledge it and don’t beat yourself up on the days when your energy is low. Rather save your energy, gather momentum, and go again. One more thing, I believe that life is  a series of individual races, with each person on their own track. So, it's expected that we won't all arrive at the same destination. If someone is forging ahead today, I sincerely cheer them on and wish them well. Their progress doesn't dampen my spirits, instead I remain confident that my time will come.
• Korede -I remember that I am not them and they are not me. There are good things I have they don’t have. There are bad things they have I don’t have. I also believe they must have done stuff to get that. I ask myself if I am ready to put in the work to reach and surpass greater heights and I make a choice and focus on all I need to do get there. I also tend to reach out to close friends and family for some encouragement. We all need a good support system.
• Esther - So, being an adult is hard normally and it’s even harder when you have expectations of yourself or ideas of where you think you should be, and you haven’t met these expectations. How I deal with it is to reduce the pressure I put on myself and constantly remind myself that I’m doing the best I can do and there are so many things that are out of my control. I focus on the things I can control and do them to the best of my abilities. Also, with seeing people forge ahead, I try to remind myself that everyone’s path is different, and things happen for everyone differently. I try to also practice gratitude too because when you’re focusing on others, you lose sight of the things that are actually going well for you. I try to count my blessings as often as possible. Also, God, I try to pray and focus on Him too.
• Yemisi- Staying still. Whenever I feel myself getting pressured, I take some alone time to gather my thoughts and recharge, I choose to isolate myself from distractions and the outside world by sleeping & resting. It helps me find clarity and regain focus. I do not feel pressured by seeing people forge ahead, if anything I’m inspired because it gives me hope that there’s more out there waiting for me. One tip to staying levelheaded is that I plug into communities where I can find resourceful help, information & guidance.
• Theresa – Me vs me...that's what comes to mind when I think of pressure! I know that the world puts enough pressure on me and that I don't have to choose to add more. Alas, it can't be helped as I'm truly a person who has always envisaged myself thriving. When I have felt extremely low, I remind myself that I'm not in a race against any opponents, and the pressure I put on myself can start to drag me down if I let it. I always say to myself that my life is not a race, it’s a journey. The route I take is life itself, and my navigation system is my mind. However, my mind continually tends to make me stop from time to time and dwell in a place of worry. Being in that place of worry is always dark and devastating! I camp there a while just pondering about how to continue until God shines a light towards a sign that says 'Hope, This way' and another that says 'Keep going'. I see these signs in many ways but mostly in the faces of my children and feel instantly encouraged. So, I try to channel my self-inflicted pressure into motivation. I make a plan or set goals, even if they aren't big ones, and when I achieve them, I reward myself. Because life is short, so I choose to let myself be happy and keep going forward knowing that the things I want in life are coming to me.
• Yinka – While we can all agree that life comes with a lot of pressure, whether it’s from work, friends, family and a lot of times, personal pressure. It is important to set a goal for yourself and work towards achieving it but ensure to do it at your own pace. I’m not going to deny that I don’t feel pressured sometimes, but this is what has always helped. It’s safe to say I turn my pressures into motivations. Another important thing is to be utterly honest with yourself even with the truths you do not want to hear. I am a strong believer of the popular saying “there is always light at the end of the tunnel”. So, pace yourself, take it one step at a time. And this right here is my tip to maintaining a steady head.

After reading all that my friends had to say, I realized one thing they were all saying- Everyone has their unique journeys and if you hang in there long enough you will reach your full potential. I appreciate you guys a lot for sharing. 

Another thing you can try is to take a personality test as it may help you understand your temperament and how you can tackle challenges. But bear in mind that all these is based off someone else’s intensive analysis and observation of human behavior, it is not a total representation of who you are. Here are a few links to some tests I took recently.

https://www.truity.com/test/type-finder-personality-test-new

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/temperament-test

https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/O4TS/

My posts are therapy for me, and I hope that they are therapy for anyone else on a similar journey. One thing I know and believe is that the lines will fall in pleasant places if you stay true to yourself. It’s okay if you weren’t able to achieve all that you desired in the previous year, we go again! We keep going until we achieve all that we are. But don’t forget to water yourself, give yourself time to stop, rejuvenate and keep going again. I saw a post recently that said we keep going because we believe if we show up every single day, there’s a chance that something might change. And that in itself is the absolute truth.

I'm going to wrap this up with a quote from a video that I love so much by one of the greatest poets of all time - Speed Darlington 'If I don't laugh, I'll cry, so it's better I laugh even if I have to force it'. Staying down does not fix your situation, so chin up and laugh from the bottom of your heart, it's all working out for your good.

Here’s to a year of unimaginable possibilities and endless opportunities. The world is your oyster so go out there and soar!