Body dysmorphia- a term I learnt in my early 20’s because for as long as I could remember, I constantly obsessed over my body and how much I hated it. For some of you who may not know what body dysmorphia means, it is a mental health condition where individuals become obsessively concerned with perceived flaws in their appearance. Research shows that about one of every 100 people has Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). Men and women are equally affected. It’s when you obsess over tiny flaws that no one else notices. It can feel like a constant battle against a funhouse mirror, where every reflection seems distorted and exaggerated.

You might ask how I learnt about body dysmorphia, well, being a top-heavy babe with not enough "junk in the trunk," to back it up, I felt like I didn’t fit society’s image of the "ideal" body.  I started to compare myself to every girl. I dreaded mirrors or anything that reflected my appearance. I sought validation from anyone who would give it and avoided social events because I just didn’t fit the script (so I thought). Basically, I was running away from myself (sounds wild, I know). 

As someone naturally curious, I eventually looked up all these "symptoms" (a word of advice: never Google your symptoms), and I got diagnosed with body dysmorphia - at least, that’s what science and the internet called it. However, now I see it as one of the ways our minds trick us into being less of who we are.

As you already know, this blog is dedicated to helping you be your best selves and in this post, I will be sharing some helpful tips on getting through and falling in love with you.

Steps to Overcoming Body Dysmorphia

Practice Self-Compassion ✨

As someone who used to avoid mirrors, I eventually realized that I couldn’t run away from myself—how silly of me to even try! Start your day with a sprinkle of kindness. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. It could be, "I love my smile," or "I rock these jeans!" It might feel silly at first, but trust me, it works wonders. Take time with your body routines. Yes! Stop rushing through your routines. Take time and rub in that lotion, bask in the entirety of your body. Romanticize your body by enjoying each moment of self-care. Think of it as a love letter to yourself, savoring each touch and appreciating every curve.

Seeking Help from a Therapist

Research says therapy is one way to conquer BDD and I quite agree. Sometimes, we need professional help, and I will always be an advocate for prioritizing mental health.  See a therapist if you can afford one, especially one skilled in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). They’ll help you deal with those negative thoughts and train you on how to navigate them. Several studies have found CBT to successfully reduce BDD severity. It helps individuals identify and challenge distorted thoughts about their appearance and develop healthier thinking patterns’

Digital Detox

I can’t hype up a social media detox enough! Whether you’re hitting pause on the endless scroll or unfollowing accounts that drain your vibe, it’s all about curating a feed that fuels your happiness. Whatever your detox style, make sure your timeline is packed with joy, laughter, and a solid dose of body positivity. I’m currently in the middle of a digital cleanse myself, using an app called Screen Zen. It lets me access certain apps for 15 minutes, 10 times a day. It’s been a game-changer for managing my screen time and cutting down on mindless scrolling!

 Healthy Lifestyle Choices

If you've been following my social media, you'll know that I'm the new poster girl for moving your body. Who knew that fun and health could go hand in hand? Eat balanced meals, move your body in ways that make you happy (dance party, anyone?). Exercises aren’t just for losing weight; they can be for fun and leave you feeling fabulous! Find an activity that makes your heart sing, whether it’s dancing, cooking, hiking, or yoga. Get enough rest. Moving your body is a celebration of what it can do, not just how it looks.

Build a Positivity Squad 🤗

Surround yourself with your own squad of cheerleaders. No, not the pom-pom kind (unless that’s your vibe), but those friends and family members who always lift you up. Share your journey with them, and let their love and support envelop you. My friends have been my biggest cheerleaders, and their unwavering support in encouraging me to see the beauty that blooms around and within me, has been instrumental in helping me navigate my need for validation and grow through it.

Focus on You

As I got older, I started to see that one of the main culprits behind BDD is our obsession with how others see us. This is what builds the constant need for validation. I came across a line from a book that stuck with me “like what you do when you are the only black kid in a party and a familiar song comes on”.  Love yourself in that dress you adore, even if it turns heads. Rock that bold lipstick like it’s made for you, no matter what anyone else thinks. The key is to focus on what makes YOU feel fabulous and let go of society’s opinions. So, my lovelies, strut your stuff, live for yourself, and flourish in your unique glory.

  Love always gets the job done. Think about it, you don’t roll out of bed every day just because your alarm is persistent—you do it because, deep down, you care about yourself enough to keep showing up. Sure, the mind can try to trick us into thinking we’re doing it out of frustration, like angrily going to the gym because of that extra slice of pizza. But let’s be real, hate doesn’t fuel progress, love does.

We are called to live a life of love, that it be deeply anchored in everything that we do. It’s okay to desire change in your body but ensure that this desire comes from a place of love. Love is what keeps you going when you don't see results.

‘Even the very hairs on your head are numbered’, if that isn't craftsmanship then I don't know what is. So never forget that every part of you was uniquely crafted to make you the masterpiece that you are. Find your source. Love that body that gets you through everything. It was uniquely made, a temple to behold.