A few days ago, I was pouring myself a cup of water without really paying attention and when I finally looked, I realized the cup was overflowing, spilling everywhere. I was staring at the mess I made when it dawned on me - that’s exactly how I’d been feeling a few days earlier. I was emotionally overflowing too. I had been running on autopilot telling myself ‘if I ignore this long enough, it’ll disappear, you’re a big girl you can take it’. Boy, was I wrong! My emotions were right there, staring back at me, waiting for me to finally look them in the face and tend to them. 

I like to think of myself as a feeler—wearing my emotions like an accessory. However, for the longest time, I thought being emotional meant being weak. I figured strength was about putting on a poker face and never letting anyone see you sweat, and I hated that I wasn’t that person. Turns out, I was way off. Real strength isn’t about pretending you’re unbreakable. It’s about being real with yourself and owning those messy, complicated feelings. I mean, think about it, how can you take out the trash if you pretend it’s not there?

If you can relate, maybe it’s time to hit pause and show yourself a little love. As usual, I’ll be sharing some tips that have been very helpful to me, let’s clean up this mess together.

 Steps to Emotional Healing

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step to finding a solution is admitting there is a problem. How can you treat a wound if you keep it covered. When I reached my limit, I had to take a big pause and tell myself, “Wonu, you’re all over the place, girl— get it together”. Don’t wait until you’re completely drained; as soon as you start feeling off, give yourself permission to face it."

2. Write it down, Make it plain

Before you pick up the phone and get into a long rant with your friend, take a moment to write down how you truly feel. Think of it like texting yourself, but this time, be completely vulnerable. If you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you open up to others? Pour it all out, even the thoughts you’re hesitant to say out loud.

I recently started journaling, and it’s been a game changer. It feels like writing a letter from me to me —one where I can tell myself all the things I need to hear. It’s a safe space where I can express emotions that may be too hard to voice, and there’s something incredibly freeing about that. More importantly, I’m learning that journaling isn’t just about venting; it’s about understanding.

3. Meditate

Always meditate on truth.  I’m just now realizing that contrary to what many believe, our feelings aren’t always the most reliable. While we’re allowed to feel whatever we feel, emotions don’t always align with reality. Think about it—sometimes, when things are realigning and making a shift, your feelings might start to convince you that everything is falling apart or that you’ve reached the end. But is that really true? I once watched an interview where the guest said’ “if you can worry, you can meditate” and that phrase stuck with me ever since. So, every time I catch myself drowning in my emotions, I’m reminded to fix my thoughts on what is pure, lovely and admirable. It’s a conscious choice to fix my mind on things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

4.  Talk to someone.

Human connection is important, and the need for it cannot be overstated. Life wasn’t designed for us to be alone. When things get too overwhelming, reach out to friends or family members who genuinely care about you. Surround yourself with people who will uplift you—not just with comforting words, but with truth spoken in love. I have a great support system, who not only say what sounds good but speak the truth from a place of deep love and understanding.  That’s the power of meaningful relationships—having people who will walk through the difficult moments with you and remind you of who you truly are. Find strength in their words and wisdom, and remember, you don’t have to carry the weight alone. Think of it like moving a heavy sofa—you can struggle all day trying to drag it yourself, or you can call up those friends who'll not only help lift it but also tell you if you're trying to shove it through the wrong doorway.

After you’ve done all you can, take a moment to find peace. Trust that, just like every other challenge you’ve faced, this too will pass. I know it might feel like it’s going to last forever, but I’m here to remind you that it won’t. Life has a way of shaking things up, of ruffling your feathers, but rest in the knowledge that nothing can keep you down unless you allow it. Rest is not giving up; it’s gathering strength to move forward when the time is right.  This is not the end it’s just a bend.