Disclaimer: To my male readers, do not feel disregarded. I am writing as a woman and a lot of my references will be in favor of women. Feel free to add the right nouns as you deem fit.

Remember when you met that special someone and the connection was instant? Things started to grow between the both of you and you were imagining spending the rest of your life with this special someone. You convinced yourself that this person is the best thing that has ever happened to you, and you enjoy spending all the time in the world with them.

Then boom! you wake up one day and all this is gone, the spark you once shared has suddenly died out and you are doing everything you can to keep this person in your life but they just don't want to be a part of you anymore. You realize you've been served breakfast, and your beautiful love story is now your greatest nightmare.

If you have ever experienced Nigerian men with a little spotlight on Lagos and Abuja, then you are familiar with the gut-wrenching feeling, the sleepless nights, the endless questions and thinking you are not enough. In my very young life I have lived, I have loved, and I have been exposed to heartbreak more than once both personally and experiences from people around me. At a point, I didn’t want to hear anything from men, by men, to men. I just wanted them far far away.

By now, you guys already know that I like to do my homework and carry out research on ways to deal with certain situations because your girl be going through some things, and I just need to get out. This post isn’t an exception, and I will be going over ways to build emotional resilience and letting that pain go! 

Ways to Build Emotional Resilience. 

1. Do not Ignore the signs: Sometimes, you can spot a heartbreak from a mile away but instead of retreating and taking cover, you keep heading towards it. This might be because you are hopeful it won’t really happen, or you’re just so caught up in your feelings for that person. Whatever the case maybe, if a person shows you their true colors, please believe it, I’m speaking from experience.

2.   2. Embrace Your Feelings: Have you ever experienced ghosting or heartbreak? How did you handle it? Please tell us in the comments. It’s okay to be hurt, we all want to be loved and spoilt and that’s totally fine. So, embrace your feelings. Cry your heart, it's okay to cry, scream into a pillow, or binge-watch your favorite TV show with a tub of ice cream. Give yourself permission to feel, because bottling up emotions only leaves you heartbroken longer than you need to be.

3.   3. Create a "Breakup and Ghosting" Playlist : I know what you’re thinking, “don’t break up songs make you sadder? But I promise you that if you have an upbeat playlist with break up songs like “Best thing I never had” by Beyonce or “Who is she 2 u” by Brandy. Girl! You’re going to be kicking that man out of your life in nothing but bin bags! Here’s the link to playlist that has gotten me through tough seasons 😔 Move On

Hi, my name is Wonuola, I constantly battle with anxiety and I’m at that weird stage in your late 20’s where everyone is starting up businesses, buying houses, getting married but I’m questioning my career choice, my decision to move halfway across the world, heck I can’t even decide on what clothes to wear. The days are going by fast, and it feels like I’m running out of time. But the question is, who set this time and why are we in a hurry to reach a certain mark in life before a certain age. If you have the answer to this question please tell us in the comments, should I slow down and take a chill pill?

 

In a world that seems to be constantly on the move, staying productive and positive can sometimes feel like a battle. Add anxiety into the mix, and it can be even more challenging. One minute you feel completely normal & then suddenly a wave of sadness hits and you start to analyze everything wrong in your life. Things as little as why the taxi driver didn’t smile at you when you greeted them get to you and then suddenly you are convinced everyone in the universe hates you.  When it gets really bad, I find myself overwhelmed by the simplest things like responding to messages. P.s I’m not ignoring you, I’m just anxious.

Recently, my anxiety has been through the roof majorly because I quit my 4year job and decided it was time to go back to school to further my education and career. A lot of people call me brave, but I keep asking myself ‘WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!’

So, I have been looking up ways to deal with this monster called anxiety and I reached out to a few friends and family on how they deal with this crippling emotion.  I’ll be going over some of the tips they have shared, and I hope we find them useful. 

 Staying Productive When Dealing with Anxiety

Real Life Tips for dealing with anxiety.

•    I take really deep and hard breaths and I tell myself that ‘I’m okay, I’m safe and I’m in control.

•  I regulate my temperature because anxiety attacks make the atmosphere really hot. So, I carry around my little fan for when that little demon tries to creep in.

• When I start to feel anxious, I run to my daddy Jesus because he is my safe space and he always come through for his baby girl.

•  I try to identify my triggers and work through them while being mindful and reminding myself that I control my emotions and not the other way around.

• I recently discovered that sugar and chocolate can trigger anxiety attacks, so when I feel anxious, I go over my diet and see if I’m having way more sugar than I should.

•   I take it all out by doing yoga and getting enough sleep. Those stretches from yoga, stretch the anxiety out of me.

•   Anxiety is weird and each episode for me requires a different approach. Sometimes, I break down and let the tears roll, sometimes I call my therapists or friends, other times I sit quietly and try to regulate my thoughts. Anxiety is all in your head, so you have to make sure your mind is stronger than your subconscious every time.

•  I drink. A glass of wine keeps the anxiety away.

•  I masturbate. It certainly helps me release the tension.

•    My primary source of anxiety in the life I’ve lived has mostly been towards school and exams up until this point and I’ve handled it by reminding myself I can’t fail and I’d always eventually put in the work. Other times I’m avoidant and I tell myself that’s future me problem. I’m sure that babe is tired of me by now, but she always eventually gets shit done. so, I trust her 🤭

I really enjoyed going over these tips and I find some of them rather interesting. *Side eye*

Mental Health Management and Productivity Tips

I also have some expert tips on how to deal with being anxious.

Acknowledge the Anxiety: First things first, we need to acknowledge that anxiety exists. Pretending it's not there won't make it magically disappear. It's like trying to ignore a dragon in your living room; it won't work except of course you don’t mind your house being burnt down. A few days ago, I broke down on my way home. I’m talking ugly tears, bawling eyes, nose running, throat tight with people looking at me crazy.

I realized that it was because I was doing everything to avoid and deny how I felt. I had found a way to convince myself that I had no right to feel the way I did because other people have it worse. But, in that moment, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. So, don’t ignore your anxiety, instead greet it like an old friend, "Hey, anxiety, you're here again, huh? Well, guess what, I've got some plans today!"

Set Small Goals: If you are like me who tries to finish all 200 tasks at once, then you definitely need to pay close attention to this point. When anxiety is breathing down your neck, break your tasks into bite-sized pieces. Instead of trying to finish that 20-page report in one go, focus on writing one page at a time. Achieving these mini milestones will give a sense of accomplishment.

Create a Support System: When living with an anxiety disorder, it can happen anytime, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide support and guidance. Sometimes, sharing your feelings can alleviate anxiety and help you stay on track. My friends are my unpaid therapists and if you guys are reading this, please don’t get tired of me.

Sensory Soothing: Create a sensory relaxation kit with items like stress balls, textured fabrics, or scented candles. Engaging your senses can be grounding and calming.

Journaling: Create a journal for your feelings and thoughts. This not only helps you express yourself but also allows you to gain insight into your emotions.

Being young, wild and free is fun until you realize that it doesn’t pay your bills or put food on your table. If you are an undercover career girl like me then you certainly understand the struggle of wanting to have all the time in the world to enjoy yourself but also the need to have a clear career path.

I like to call this era of my life “choose your own adventure book” where I explore new opportunities in my career and avenues for career growth. In this blogpost, we're going to unravel what I refer to as the secret formula for finding your career path and attaining ultimate success: "Explore Learning Careers"! So, fasten your seatbelt, because we're about to take off on a thrilling journey to unleash our full potential and get on the first step to discovering career paths.

Embrace the Adventure: Navigating Your Career with Explore Learning Careers

Setting the Stage: Imagine your career as an uncharted territory, brimming with untapped potential and hidden treasures. It's time for us to navigate through the wide array of choices and discover our hidden gems.

Why You Should Care: "Why should I care?" you ask. Well, because your career is the epic quest of your life, and it deserves your full attention. Each experience we gain is a power-up getting us closer to our ultimate goals - Living free and enjoying a life full of potential.

Unlock Your Full Potential- Ready, Set, Explore!

Now, let's dive into the nitty-gritty of how to embark on this exhilarating journey:

Quest 1: Explore Learning Careers to Identify Your Passions: Think of this as selecting your character in a role-playing game. For the longest time I struggled with identifying what I wanted to be. In my head, I have been a doctor, a lawyer, a pilot, an actress. At one point I was convinced all I needed was to marry a filthy rich billionaire and adventure round the world. (that’s still a lowkey dream but that’s not why we are here today). 

It took me a few opportunities to discover what my interests were and what I enjoyed doing. So, in identifying your passion, I’d ask two questions for you to ponder on- 

1. What makes your heart race? 

2. What sparks your curiosity?

 Identify your passions and wield them like superpowers.

Quest 2: Explore Learning Careers: Try, Fail, Learn, Repeat: I started off my career right after I graduated as an executive assistant. It was my first job so you can imagine how that went. Right now, I'm on the journey of becoming a brand strategist and one thing I'm learning is that in the world of exploring learning careers, there's no such thing as game over. Failures are an opportunity to restructure and level up. Who knows, the next time I'm writing I might be on the path to becoming an Astronaut. Point is, do not fear the "Retry" button; embrace it!

Quest 3: Explore Learning Careers: Network Like a Pro: If you are a shy girl like me, you will understand the struggles of starting off conversations with strangers. However, it is necessary to connect with mentors, business owners and fellow adventurers because you never know where your next big thing can come from. Your network is your guild in this grand adventure. Share your quests, seek advice, and collect wisdom like treasure. If you have tips on how to network like a pro, please share with us in the comment section- Raising my hand for all my shy boys and girls in the house lol.  

Unleash Your Potential and Join the Adventure!

Unleash Your Potential and Join the Adventure!

To keep you motivated on your journey, here are a few sites where I took some professional beginner courses. These sites have helped me in broadening my knowledge in my career journey, hope you find them useful. 

• Cousera

• Udemy

• EDX

 Now, it's your turn to share your quests, victories, and even the epic fails in the comments section. Let's create a community of fearless adventurers, all on a quest to self-discovery and unlock the potential within!

Going through a chaotic experience in your 20’s? Trying to navigate your friendships and relationships? Considering moving to a new country? 

Everyone seems to have their lives figured out, but you can’t even find the right clothes for the right occasion? Well, you are not alone in feeling this way. 

Welcome to "Life In Progress" where we embrace the chaos, celebrate the victories, and laugh through the madness of being twenty-something in the 21st century! 

Life in your adult years can sometimes feel like waiting for rain in the drought – Impossible and downright comical.

Here's What's Cookin' in Our Twenties Kitchen:

Career Capers: Join us as we chase after dream jobs, stumble through internships, and share tales of office antics. We're here to prove that even when you're lost, you can still make one heck of a PowerPoint presentation.

   

Love, Laughs, and Lipstick Stains: Relationships and friendships? From disaster dating experiences that deserve their own tv shows, friends who’ve seen us at our best and worst to letting go of some friendships and the hardship of creating new ones. We've got you covered and we will navigate the emotional rollercoaster together.

New Country, Who dis?: Ready to take on the world? You’ve come to the right place. We will share tips, tricks, and the struggles of moving to a new country. So fasten your seatbelt and get ready as “Life in Progress" provides insights into immigration processes, cultural adaptation, and tips for creating a new home away from home.

Virginity in Your Twenties: Embrace the unique journey of being a virgin in your twenties with a side of humor and heart. We've got stories, support, and a sense of humor to embrace your unique journey of being a twenty-something virgin and living life on your own terms.

Mental health and wellbeing: Let's get real about the mental ups and downs of your twenties. Let’s come together and discover ways of surviving stress, anxiety, and those "quarter-life crisis" moments with a smile.

Fashion 101: Stay up to date with the latest fashion trends and make the world your runway.

Real-life Experiences: Connect with real-life stories and experiences from fellow twenty-somethings who have faced similar challenges.

"Life in Progress" is more than a blog; it's your backstage pass to adulthood's biggest comedy show. Let’s make learning about the twists and turns of adulthood feel like a Netflix binge-watching session with your besties. We believe that laughter is the best therapy, and together, we're rewriting the script to make your twenties the best years of your life.